L'étranger, still

Today, I'm wondering why it is taking me so long to fall in love with this country. I like it, for sure. But I still don't quite feel comfortable here. It's still just the place where I am, not quite the place where I live.

I always used to think it took me three months to call any place I moved to "home." But, I guess I was moving to Canadian places with only three months' worth of new information to learn. In France, there's much, much more to get used to. And here, it might take this place a little longer to get used to me.

I remember doing a project on Albert Camus's L'étranger when I was in Grade 10. And I remember thinking that an étranger was someone who chose to be different. Now that I actually am "l'étranger" (as I've been told several times by different people here), I'm beginning to understand that being different isn't always a choice -- and it isn't always something you can hide!

Hopefully, I'll eventually be able to be l'étranger and feel at home at the same time.