Between Movember and hockey playoffs

As a Canadian living in another country and making friends here, I thought I should mention the effect that these Movember moustaches are having on our overseas reputation.

The fact that Canadians want to help raise awareness for prostate cancer by growing moustaches in the month of November is awesome. The fact that we like to participate is great. But there are many countries around the world that don't know that this is why you're growing them. France isn't really participating yet and as an ex-pat, let me just say that I've had to have your backs.

"Everyone in Canada has a moustache," someone told me yesterday.

"No they don't," I defended. "They have reasons for their facial hair -- ideas, traditions."

"Uh-huh? But like I said, they've all got moustaches."

So simply put: The people here don't get it. And, they're now convinced that we live in the middle of the woods, ride to work on dog sled, and spend our time lightly dabbing the foam off our moustaches while we sip extra-hot, cinnamon-sprinkled, half-soy lattes all day long.

You should know, Canadian boys, that between Movember and hockey playoffs, your facial hair has become both plentiful and significant for those on the other side of the ocean. Not the ideas (the playoff beard of solidarity, the moustache of cancer awareness), just the hair.

So, my advice for those back home is to try harder if you want to get your message out over here. Go bigger. Go longer. Go waxier. Go red and white Canadian Halloween colours. Go Sens. Go Leafs. Go whatever. Or go home. You need to make more of a statement.

I really don't know how much longer I can defend the profile pictures of my Canadian Facebook friends.

That said, the regular, non-fundraising moustaches can stay as they are. The “cool kids” can keep their ironic trends. But all of you Movember-participating, hockey-celebrating types need to bring it.