New scooter, new level of commitment...

Stupidly, my transportation is again threatening my commitment to being here! It would be nice if we just lived downtown and transportation didn't have to be an issue.

We went looking for another scooter yesterday -- one that's lower to the ground than the one the Professor first bought. He said he's not hurt that what he bought might not have been the best scooter for me. And he's been lovely in trying to help me find a new one that doesn't fall on me so much.

BUT, they're expensive.

I'd really never even let someone pay to take me to the movies before this. I'm not yet sure what having someone take care of me means, I guess.

The first scooter the Professor bought was out of necessity. So that wasn't so bad to let him buy it. He had hoped that solving my transportation issues would make me more comfortable here and would give our relationship a better chance of success.

So far, the scooter HAD helped. But then I fell and the one thing that was supposed to save me started to scare me -- in the way that one can become afraid of bagels if you slice your finger while cutting one. You just have to hope the fear eventually goes away.

But, putting money towards a new scooter -- since the only ones we found yesterday are double the price -- is a lot. I don't want him to buy it. But if I buy it, that's a major commitment to staying. (I know I can resell it, but that's a lot of work and not the point.)

I'm wondering if I'm ready for all of these joint decisions -- ones that will eventually include shared bank accounts and benefits, maybe even children. It's not quite the same deal as this whirlwind where-would-you-like-to-go-tonight life with which I started this leap.

Making this commitment is more than just movies and dinners and bike rides. And that's a whole new thing I have to decide if I'm ready for. So far, I've been grumpy about the decision -- grumpy that when it comes down to all of these every day commitment details, France can begin to look a lot like Canada. Or anywhere else.

Right now, we still have the romance, the shared bottles of wine and the pizza from the pizza truck, which we got last night. I was on the back of the scooter and had to hold the pizza on the Professor's lap. At one point, I accidentally used the pizza to honk the horn and two people who were out walking their dog.

For today, that's the only scooter scenario I want to think about.